too tired, when is it gonna stop?

another crazy day in the life of our unsuspecting character, Kiwi Vergara..

dear on-line journal,

Last friday night went to gb3 to watch "The Terminal" with nikki(hi nikki!Ü). Picked her up at around 530 pm but we reached greenbelt 3 at around 730 to 8. We immediately bought the tickets for the 9 pm schedule and had dinner at Bubba Gump. It was a relly good movie even it was my second time to watch it. Tom Hanks really good at his craft that even its the second time around I'm still amazed with his acting prowess. After the movie I brought nikki to avi's (ey avi!Ü) place and off to Tiananmen to meet up with my DLSU college friends Franz, Kd, Dj, and Cams. Chika and company after sometime also came to meet us up for a while. due to some unfortunate circumstances we had to leave early for fear of the "waiters revenge" because apparently Kd got pissed due to the fact that they were given seats wherein wine drinking was compulsary yet they weren't informed of the policy. So the management was apologetic to us. Me and Franz just can't stop making stories of how waiters would strike back to us.. So we had to leave early but I met up with Ken and Jermaine and went off to Greenbelt 3 at Krokodille for a few bottles of beer. Then I brought them home to Jermaines's condo then I went home for my beauty rest..

Saturday I woke up going to school late and without anything to eat because I got hooked up with the tv. Van wilder was being shown on star movies and I just got engrossed to watching it that I forgot how time passes by quickly. After classes I went home early since I had to meet up again with Kd and Franz in order to erase the stigma of friday nights fiasco. Picked up Kd at bf then went on to San Beda to pick up Franz with two other friends with him, June and Paul. They were really good company. We chatted at Starbucks Valero since we got there early at around 10 pm and it was way too early to be partying at Ponti. At around 11 we went to Ponti and had a few rounds of drinks when three girls sat at the table beside us. I had a major look lock with one of the three girls at the table beside us. She looked vaguely familiar but I didn't really know how to approach her since it would be rude for me to come accross and strike a conversation. The rest of the agno boys came along mainly Marcus, Java, Noel, Andy and Paolo. Noel suddenly talked with the three girls beside our table and apparently the girl that was familiar was PA. I met her a long time ago and I just apologized to her how I forgot her name and she looked way different when I met her compared to the way she looked that night. So much for that.. Me and Franz also met up with Pichon and Joleon hours later and apparently they were already leaving. Ponti can get real jampacked and you could get lost in the chaos of so many people. I stumbled with Ara, a friend of mine from Assumption as I came from the cr then as I got back to our table Kd had to go off early since she had work in the building beside Ponti, while me and Franz brought her to work Aubrey was just around the corner with officemates and came by to say hi. After a few sticks of ciggarettes and real good laughs about college life Aubs had to go off to work. After a chat with Ara she decided to catch a ride with me home with her friend Metz since their friends ditched them. Dropped off Franz, June and Paul at Diamond hotel since it was the last day of bar ops in DLSU. Drove Ara and Metz home and bye bye real world for me and off to dreamland after a long and hard day..

Sometime in Ponti Franz and I talked about being old for doing the "going out friday and saturday night". I guess we shared the same sentiments that it sometimes doesn't make the real cut for us anymore. The party scene is just getting younger and younger and yes, we are still here. Sometimes I just wanna have it nice and quiet like coffee or something, at least you get to know the people you meet since you get to talk to them. Compared to shallow talk of meeting people in a club I'd choose my coffee sessions anytime. I just want a conversation that would be in a deeper level and has sense. I want it to be real and have meaning. A friend of mine told me that it does get tiring since you sometimes get the feeling that your meeting the same kind of people all the time. Its like your not meeting anyone new. The dancing and partying sometimes gets so tiring. In the midst of the shallowness I even feel like screaming in the middle of the party peeps and I guess no one would even care. Hmmm... Maybe I am getting old for this..? Well, it doesn't matter because I'm sure that its a phase that I'm going thru. Maybe I just need to grow up? I guess too many fun memories of partying are just holding me back. Its those memories that keep me going and the prospect of putting the sense back in the middle of the party. Sheez.. I kinda feel fucked up.. like I'm crazy or something talking shit about partying don't you guys think..? hehehehe..Ü I'll just have to wait for the next party or the next night out..

daddy doodles..Ü

another crazy day in the life of our unsuspecting character, Kiwi Vergara..

dear on-line journal,

Last tuesday night was one of the most memorable nights in my entire life. Well, it was my daddy's birthday. The day started slow, we went to mass at around 6 am at holy family parish at bf almanza. Then we were off to Chowking for breakfast. After class there was dinner at home and a few relatives were invited. Patrick and Dahlia came along because we needed to plan for our coming church weekend this october. After the meeting we brought dhalia home and started our inuman session. ejie, jb, kris, pat and I started it off with a bottle of Fundador. Pat was really in a bad mood at that time since he and his girlfriend broke up at the time we held our meeting but that didn't prevent us from having a good time. A few shots later pat needed to "go home" so he was the first to depart but soon to be replaced by my dad a few moments later. It was really nice since we haven't talked on a much deeper level for a long time. He imparted to me, ejie, and kris some words of wisdom on a few topics that are happening in my life. We talked about friendships, my brother, his conviction on things and principles.. I'm really proud of my dad because I've come to learn the man that he really is. He has earned my respect although I earned his respect a long time ago without even noticing it. All has been revealed.. That hard and tough exterior hides a deep and kind hearted person inside. I soon realize that although we don't talk or see that much I am becoming more like my dad. Just by the way he talked i found a deper connection that I also shared with him. I guess its like that in a normal family. I hate to admit it, but i am the product of my parents. A mix of their blood and even their own personalities and but now, I am happy with the thought of how I have grown into this individual. I am truly lucky that I have parents that have molded me into the person that I am today. I know that they will always be there for me and my brother and especially to soon to be children in the distant future. Im just excited of what life has in store of me with the both of them with me..

no more dreams for me..

another crazy day in the life of our unsuspecting character, Kiwi Vergara..

dear on-line journal,

Me and my buds at agno(dlsu) where talking about certain dreams we've had a while ago. It was just so funny because there were different stories about each of our wildest and raunchy dreams. Ec started it off narrating that he dreamnt of 8 naked ladies in front of him. hahahaha!Ü And he was so overwhelmed that he didn't know what to do.. I remember jp telling us about his dream about kristine hermosa. He was so iritated in the dream as he recounts. Apparently in that dream they were breaking up.. "it was so fast" he said because they were already breaking up and not even in the "couple stage"or even the "courtship stage". He even told us that it would be so nice for kristine to be his girlfriend even just for a day, so that he could brag to us guys that they were an item even for the shortest time. I remarked to him "bro, too much kristine hermosa for you.. all my life must have done wonders for you.. hahahaha". Moving on to my dream, I have this friend in school that I've known for quite sometime. She's the typical girl that men would notice because she is pretty(but not really all that..you guys might get me wrong..hehehehe..Ü), simple, has a sense of style. The typical girl next door and a person who is active in church. Given the fact that I've known her for sometime I've considered her as a good friend of mine and not a person that I would picture myself to be with and in the situation of being in bed. Yes, you guessed it right my friends.. (if you don't.. well, you guys are boring!Ü Get a life! Then a partner! Then maybe a room? hahahaha.. you know me.. just playing again..) in that dream it was so wild with her that when I woke up I had chills up my spine. Must have been a nocturnal emission since I haven't been walking the dog for quite sometime..(hahahahahaha!Ü nah, i was just joking..) To make the dream even worse I had her in my room.. it was just so nasty.. too much visuals for me in that dream. That dream about her just changed the way that I see her and I know that upon dealing with her things for me would never be the same. At that time she was my classmate and when that dream occured I find myself checking her out(kiwi, this is your conscience.. As much as possible don't try to look at her assets.. her bumpers.. her face.. in short, don't look at her at all.. hehehehehe). I try to suppress myself of seeing nasty images of her that keep on popping up in my head. It just makes my blood boil and makes that animal in me wanna come out.. down boy!Ü Awwww.... shit! Well, I'm trying to be a good boy now and I am at the moment trying to keep those hormones at bay. You guys gotta give me a break.. boys will be boys.. My friends commented that it may be a suppressed feeling that I might really like this gurl subconsciously even though I'm not thinking of her consciously. She is really a catch although thinking of it I'd rather not pursue her because it would be for the wrong reasons if you know what I mean.. We ended it up with a cigarette and had to go our separate ways since class was starting..

not another friday and saturday night..

another crazy day in the life of our unsuspecting character, Kiwi Vergara..

Dear on-line journal,

Last weekend was just nasty! Friday night I picked tin up at her condo and off to Krymi's party at Impanema eastwood. On the way we were so low on batteries that we actually stopped by a gas station to grab a bite to eat. Then to eastwood for the party. There were tons of food and it was just so good that I still remember the taste and it just makes my mouth water right now. Mmmmm... beef salpicao, sisig, pasta, crispy pata and more.. After that there was drinking and dancing.. A couple of beers and hard drinks were enough for me to get my dancing shoes rolling. Well, i haven't danced in the longest time and it took me sometime to reorient myself with my "dancing moves".. if there was any.. hahahaha..Ü. Saturday night i went to town with Teta and missy to watch The Terminal and went to Manila to meet up with France and Kd. I actually crashed in the party of kd's friend trina who was the sister of barbie almalbis. Saw Barbie and kitchie nadal.. Heck! I even got introduced.. Never said a thing except hi. Need more beer.. to speak up.. to them.. after that France, Kd and I were off to Ponti and met up with urcc greats Allan Co, Pitchon Garcia, Richard Lasprillas and many more. Nasty.. Although they were introduced to me a while back I still have the feeling of uneasiness around them because of their status. Well, they were good company and of course, friendly yet still scary.. hehehehe.. Got home at around 4am and its sweet dreams for me..

meet the taas barkada..

dear on-line journal,

I was just thinking about writing about my friends that have influenced to become the person I am right now. These friends have been an important part of my life that I can see no way of existing without them. For my first set of friends I'd like to introduce you guys to my taas barkada. Actually they are my friends since childhood in the village I grew up in..

I'd like to introduce you guys to jb, ejie, sam, butok, mac, paola, juno, pat, paula, kris. They have been with me since the beginning of my life and are still with me till the end.. I guess I'll briefly say a few words about them in this post.

jb (jarwin bobis)

this guy has always been the joker. Always on the prowl and cracks the funniest jokes. He used to work for McDonalds but later resigned due to certain circumstances. He loves to hang around and of course drink( lahat naman sa barkada eh..)

ejie (ed joseph morales)

I consider him as the brother I never had, although I love my real brother dearly. So much has been taken from this guy from which he rightfully deserves. Although he lacks in financial standing he is a person full of experiences that have made him into a mature individual. I won't even hesitate to ask this guy for advice even though I'm way older than he is because he has my respect and trust. I firmly believe that this guy will make it in life and be successful as soon he realizes the potential he has to exel in whatever field he wants.

sam (abrahamson alhambra)

Sam for me has always been a mature person. He readily accepts the consequences of his decisions to which I salute him. This person is the wall that others in the group lean on. I would describe him as the conscience wherein he would act upon grounds which are right and morale even though he has his own shortcummings and vices. He stands strong in the face of problems and does his best to get by but learns from every situation that goes by.

butok (abraham alhambra)

This guy I would refer to as the mr. goody two shoes. He has his own mischevous side to hide but thats all good. He is strong willed but sometimes always clashes with his brother. But that makes me admire him all the more because he knows what he wants and would not think twice about fighting for it. I would also describe him as the 2nd most prideful person in the group. Although we don't see him that much anymore(thanks to ragnarok and mama bell, thats all good bro! we still love you!) he is still a welcome addition to our group.

mac (mark stephen suede)

This guy is the person with no cares in the barkada. He always wants to play it safe especially when it concerns with intra-barkada conflict. He doesn't want to concern himself with that because he has always been neutral. He's also an addition to jb in cracking the jokes and makes drinking sessions more enjoyable.

paola (paola bertis)

one of the newest additions to the group and sad two say one of the two ladies in the barkada. She has always been cheerful and the bubbly type of girl in the group. The guys don't practically have a hard time warming up to her because she is very approachable. Due to work we don't see her that much anymore but whenever time permits it, she'll always be there.

juno (edgardo aujero jr.)

this guy recently passed the board exam for electrical engineers. He has always been the emotional type in our group. He is always sensitive especially about the hot topics that are current in the barkada. He is hard working especially now that he works for the their business in the family. We miss him because he usually has little time to spare for us but when he is really needed at any place at any time, in very important situations he will not hesitate to come and lend a helping hand.

pat (john patrick espino)

The bunso in the barkada. He has always been regarded as bunso because of some of his immaturities but I know given time he will outgrow these things and become a much more better person. But given the time we met him for the first time compared to now there are changes in his character and I know with patience he will be the man that we his barkada are waiting to see.

paula (paula espino)

This girl has always been a fighter in the group. Every problem she encounters she fights head on. This girl has a really strong character because she snarls at the face of problems. Sometimes we, the guys in the group tend to forget that she is also a lady and always treat her as one of the guys. Deep inside, behind that tough exterior lies a girl that also needs to be taken care of. She has been with us since childhood but just recently became a part of our barkada.

kris (kristian rey sunga)

Another person in the group with no cares, compared to mac that as long it doesn't mean that much he won't concern himself with petty arguements. When problems become grave and critical then he will act. Although a tough charachter in reality because of tough experiences he appears to be a person hardly unscathed by those experiences.

There you have it.. my friends in my village. Although we are of different personalities and different backgrounds we still manage it to be together. I just hope that our friendship will stand the test of time and challenges that we still have overcome. Itaas mo!!!Ü

flirting 101

dear on-line journal,

I'm still here in school as usual.. and as usual the computer at home is still busted. I'll have to reformat the hard drive because theres a virus that is preventing me from connecting to the internet. Went out last saturday with my friends tin, nikki, elaine, paolo, krymi and louie at gb3 last saturday. Met up with ate bev at Cena and I had a lot of fun drinking away free beer (thanks ate bev!). There were supposed to be a couple of chiks that nikki was supposed to introduce to me but sad to say, I was preoccupied with my beer and cigarettes.. Another wave of friends of nikki came along but again I was too comfortable with my own self that I didn't even want to talk with the girl.. =( Nasty thing about that was that they were just a bunch of high school chiks.. And I'm 22! I guess I just can't make the cut.. Well, there was this hottie with one of nikki's girlfriends but I guess I was too shy to even strike a conversation.. The hell!? Is this me!? Nasty.. I guess they were too many of them to even start the flirting game.. Oh my God!? I can't even believe that I'm saying this or even writing it for the matter. I'll just try to be mature about it then? Don't you guys think?

I guess I'd have to talk about flirting as the topic for this post since a friend of mine(tabby, hi gurl!) were chatting a while ago in ym and it came upon the topic. To me, flirting has always been a game. Like the chess pieces on the board, anticipating each and every move and if you play you’re moves right, you claim victory. Victory can be in any form depending on you’re intentions. Good or bad, flirting is a tool wherein you can achieve youre goals in a.. hmm... how do I say this? in a less expensive manner(if you are that good) It could lead to different possible outcomes depending on how well you play the game.

Flirting has always been about the conversation between two individuals.. It can be as casual as it can be. It is a part of life and part of our instincts. Flirting may not be easy as it seems because in every situation there would be different set of factors involved, like in a club or coffee shop, in school or in the mall. You should be sensitive of these factors or a good flirting no matter how good the intentions might be will all go for naught. First thing I do is check out myself. I guess I'd want to feel the vibe before I flirt because to me there has always been this feeling that nothing could go wrong and all you can do is make the girls want for more.. hahahaha...Ü When the feeling is there I'm all set.. Everything falls into place.. the right words, the right moves(verbal and non-verbal cues), the topic of conversation, body language.. Aside from that there has always been an unwritten set of rules that I follow. Its all about etiquette and the manner of speaking I guess.. Social psychologists say that flirting is done usually at places wherein alcohol is provided(check out my reference at http://www.sirc.org/publik/flirt.html God! I actually researched for this.. ), to me i guess it could be done everywhere and to anyone. Depending on you’re tactics and strategy it can actually be done anywhere. I remember this time that I was driving around and I happen to come across this cutie that was walking around and I was sure that if I didn't talk to her I'd regret it for the rest of my life. I ended up asking her for directions around the place even if I knew my way around!! hehehehehe.. Even if I didn't get her number or see her again at least I did some way of boosting my confidence and talk to her. There are different and possible ways of attacking a problem. Same goes with girls.. Given the right information, style and "suave-ness"(depending on the likes of the girl and doesn't necessarily mean you need this). I'm sure you can hit it off on the right foot with any girl any time.

Based from the stories of friends and acquaintances its really hard for them to flirt. Sometimes I too share their sentiments but its a matter of striking a good conversation. It doesn’t need to be the clever and witty language. It may be in the form of a question or a comment on something. To do this you have to at least be observant of things happening around or at least knowledgeable of the situation. If the girl seems to lack the attention for the conversation or is saying "no" non-verbally through body language its safe to say to call it quits. No need to be alarmed. If ever the fate deems you to be lucky, good inter personal and social skills in handling a conversation would come in handy (again check my reference at the aforementioned website). It would deal with adequate skills in talking, listening, humor(most effective!), closing. Sometimes it would be very deadly to venture into witty and clever lines in a conversation so I suggest you always keep it simple and of course, keep it real. I usually keep myself updated and knowledgeable by reading different kinds of books or just by watching movies from action packed mano-e-mano movies to chick flicks. I mean be a jack of all trades so that you won't be at a loss of words. Try to learn from everything around you, may it be a flower by the sidewalk or even theoretical mumbo jumbo from the college textbook. Make the conversation simple and of course interesting. Its all up to you guys so let you’re imagination fly. Be creative and spontaneous because the best laid plans no matter how well planned they are usually backfire. Its just a matter of how you bring it..

I may not be a guru in flirting but i try to get around. I try to hone my skills and I still am in the process of learning new things. As of now I guess I’m in a rut because somehow my own "mojo" has left me.. bad trips.. This rut is taking to long and I now should be doing things to reclaim my "manhood".. pray for me guys..

ordinary day

Dear on-line journal,

Guess what? I just met someone new the other day at RP. Her name was Carmen(by the way, hi Carmen!). First time I saw her she reminded me of my YFC friend nikki(Hi nikki!). The two look almost the same.. I guess its in the eye brows and or the skin color. I don't really know. After coffee in starbucks RP it was off to the movies for "the notebook". Cheezy and mushy as it may be i liked it. A girl even tripped near us while we were watching and I just couldn't control myself so I laughed out loud (HaHa!). After the movie I went to town to meet up with a friend but I got to stumble accross Chill my former blockmate at DLSU. We had dinner and caught up with old times.. After I met up with my friend Kristine for some coffee at Starbucks. Then another friend happened to stumble upon me.. Ec.. He joined us which added more to the fun..Ü After that I brought Kristin home and then some shuteye for me..Ü gotta go for now..

voices

This week was just an emotional roller coaster ride for me. Too many things happened to me especially with my barkada here in the village. I guess for me this week was too much to bear because it had so much emotional impact to me that IM certainly writing it down here for the record. Some things never change especially when it comes to people that only want to save their God Damned asses..! Shit! I just can't believe that there are people who are still narrow minded at this time, people who don't give a damn about the fate of other people so long as they can still save themselves. I mean, fuck them right? Who needs those kinds of people? I can surely live without them and that's a relief because being with them just makes life harder all the more..

After all the memories, after all the struggles, after all the things that have been said and done.. The things left are pain.. And anger.. I guess it never really happened to them but it was very hard for us. To them it seems that as if nothing happened but to us it left wounds that would take time to heal..

I bid my goodbyes to you guys. Are you guys happy now? Did you get what you want? Well for the record, it was at our expense.. I guess thats the price of friendship then.. Congratulations.. you got us..